Goats out on Pasture, Skerries V Suttonians, December 9th, 2000

Ten minutes into this All-Ireland League game the Skerries no.8, the swarthy Kelleher, picked off the back of a scrum on half-way exploded across the gain line, Mulcahy, extracting himself Houdini fashion from the furnace was up in support. The hooker found one of his second row steaming up and suddenly it was no longer Skerries against Suttonians. This was Gulliver Dowling against the Lilliputians, flicking a few defenders off his shoulders, swatting a couple more in his nether regions, he thundered all the way to the doorstep of the posts, before conceding to weight numbers. The Skerries pursuit was well placed to reactivate the movement but was penalized and the visitors lifted the siege. This was the match in microcosm for Skerries were markedly superior all through, constructed some highly promising attacks but invariably foundered on the rock of flawed finishing. This inability to reap the rewards of their high velocity game will be of concern to the mentors for, for if it was without serious repercussion against a side of Suttons very perceptible limitations, it will be of critical importance against the more accomplished formations. A team with ambition should be properly galvanized by the merest whiff of the try-line.

Mention of the hooker Mulcahy makes it opportune to pay tribute to one who has worn Lord Holmpatrick's riding colours with pride for the best part of two decades now. A good half-dozen of the present side were still slobbering on their soothers - some of them may still be at it - when Mulcahy made his senior competitive debut in the Leinster League. The year was 1983 and the memory is still fresh of a brash youngster having the temerity to hoist the celebrated Tony Ward with his own petard. Mulcahy side-stepped the master of the side-step that day, thereby giving immediate impetus to what was to be an eminent career. The fact that he has not been honoured with a full International Cap will always be regarded here as a moment of selectorial myopia. He is playing with great effervescence these days and looks like going on to rival Thorton of Balcunnin in the longevity league. Thorton still treasures the blazer he was awarded for 21 years of unbroken service to Skerries first fifteen.

Skerries began with their trade-mark hurricane start - fear of losing is not a factor with this team and hopefully never will be. It seemed to be only a matter of time before the visiting sandbags would fray at some point and began to leak irremediably. The first quarter had elapsed, however, before a score arrived. A floated pass from Early put Lawless in possession - but under surveillance and in soft conditions, the winger blithely changed gear and flowed over the line. Everything Lawless does these days is marked with the stamp of class (a huge raking kick late in the game had echoes of the days when he played with the Harps rather than the Heads) and all the indications are that he is back to his contemptuous best. If, however, he is thinking of reintroducing his * bras d'honneur of a few seasons ago he should forget about it.

Duff was soon unveiling some more of his sorcery. From an improbable scenario Son of Santa stole into the sunlight, marketing dummies to left and right, some bought, some still unsold. When finally the pass came it went to an alien hand and another opportunity was lost. Brady did kick two penalty goals as reward for persistent pressure and the score stood a meager eleven points to nil at the break.

Burke will need to be careful if he is not to make the headlines these days - his demolition work at scrum had induced the abdication of his opposite number before the interval and now he was busily devouring the replacement. A tasty morsel by all accounts but the hamstrings could have been hung a bit longer. Burke was eventually returned to his cage and his surrogate Garry was soon looking for a bit of the wider action. He got it by turning up in the outside center position and making it all the way to the line with considerable panache. Anonymous will never be Garry's middle name, he is said to have turned his back on a potentially lucrative career as a crash test dummy in order to devote himself to crosswords....and rugby.

Skerries continued with their prodigality. Quirke may have been under hypnosis when he ignored some set aside land on the periphery and opted to drive up the crowded boulevard. The wingers frustration was compounded shortly afterwards when in a likely scoring position, Beggs aimed a pass at his aft rather than his fore. Brady struck another good penalty before Suttonians had a postscript renaissance and looked as if they might threaten the line for the first time in the match, but Gray, racing back like a stag, quickly disabused them of any try-scoring notions. The visitors had been territorially annihilated - borne out by the fact that they had no kicks at goal - but , paradoxically, they have presented eminence grise Carron with a dilemma. Can he convince his charges that this was a one-off waltz and that it will be back to business as usual against Corinthians on Saturday?

* the two-fingered gesture which, to the English, is a Harvey Smith, to the French is a bras d'honneur