The normally tranquil world of the Aspirants

The normally tranquil world of the Aspirants – the name bestowed upon the reserve squad at Holmpatrick – was yesterday plunged into turmoil after it emerged that a senior member of the management staff had criticized his players in public. The extraordinary, spittle-flecked outburst –bystanders likened it to the eruption of a geyser – came in the aftermath of Skerries comprehensive defeat in a J2 league game by a zippy Terenure outfit. Desperate attempts were being made last night to dumb down the incident and retain in-house solidarity. And there has been an official black-out on the content of the criticism. But a source close to the team, who did not wish to be named, said that the players were deeply upset about an aspersion cast upon their eating habits. Not one of the, it was alleged, would tackle a good breakfast.

The day had begun auspiciously enough. Morning rain had relented, giving way to a superb autumn sun. And the pitch, apart from a decidedly drunken tracing of the ten yard line at the sea end, was immaculate. Additionally, within minutes of the off we were treated to an old-fashioned, winner-takes-all, textbook tackle. Dropping his shoulder as if making a running curtsy and using his arms to pinion the legs of his victim, Goats right-wing, Kirwan brought a shuddering end to the progression of his opposite number. This, we hoped would be the prototype for the afternoon. The job delineation of the tackler in the professional era comes, of course, in a double volume – one, stop the ball-carrier, two, stop the distribution. But far too often in the amateur game the tackler, in staking all on the double, comes away with nothing. And so it came to pass here. Two perpendicular tackles in midfield, swatted away by the ball-carrier, were at the origin of an early pair of Terenure tries.

Despite this ample demonstration of its inefficacy the habit of standing up to the man coming forward spread like wildfire with predictably calamitous results. All around the field Terenure were being afforded numerical superiority and it came as no major surprise when meltdown arrived as the second quarter got under way. A flawed drop-out gave the visitors unsolicited possession and the simple ploy of incorporating the full-back allowed the left-wing a clear run to the line. From the re-start the scenario was repeated, the sole variation being that this time the winger returned the compliment by supplying the scoring pass back infield to the No. 15. Lurid viewing indeed for the bakers dozen of Skerries supporters on the touchline – a vivid reminder of the first team’s experience a few weeks ago against the same rampant colours of purple, black and white.

Despite being half-way under the Caudine Forks at this stage Skerries rallied before the break and the third quarter performance, full of spirit and fortitude, raised hopes of a face-saving revival. Defence was considerably less porous and there were sporadic incisive thrusts from such as full-back Murtagh, centre O’Mahony and flanker Curley. But each time the support was fractionally late and the advance was smothered. The impression given was that any breach of the defensive wall by a Skerries player was wholly unanticipated. Terenure scored again before the Goats were finally rewarded with the solace of a try. A concerted drive across the whitewash by the pack was given the referees approval and Gaetano, the effervescent Italian emerged triumphant with the ball, before turning towards the opposition as much as to ask “ whads a madder you? Godda no rreespect?” Terenure were not yet satiated and a break down the right followed by a deep kick to the posts provoked a frantic chase. Whether the potential saving is four runs or five points the pursuit of Wickus the Cricketer is never less than single-minded and here he was only just defeated in the dive. Before the end an audacious dummy by the visiting out-half induced sudden onset paralysis in the home rearguard. The score at the posts marked the terminus for Skerries on this particular Via Doloroso.

So, amongst the Aspirants, who can genuinely aspire to a career in the upper echelon? The simple answer is that all of them can. The sole condition is that they advance their game to the limit of their ability. Many showed up well in the difficult circumstances of Saturday. Murtagh, for instance, demonstrated that he is on intimate terms with the requirements of the full-back position and Kirwan followed up on his exemplary tackle by never allowing his attention or his resolution to flag. Heeney was neatness personified in the No. 9 shirt and outside him Boland produced the odd bit of sorcery, even if he sometimes took the type of running lines that haven’t been seen since the Ducky Rooney’s was the subject of a late night raid by he Guards. Up front, in a pack that was severely overburdened, Branagan, lean and abrasive, was a fruitful source of possession at the front of the line-out and Jenkins was a tireless forager.

There was a captivating cameo performance from a substitute scrum-half of tender years (forty-two of them to be precise). Samuel Beckett might have said that the team at that stage was made up of fourteen young aspirants and one old suspirant, but McDonough didn’t look at all out of place amongst the whippersnappers. What, finally, of the public criticism of the players? The idea it purveys of a juggernaut like McCorry toying tentatively with a half-sausage before abandoning the black-pudding altogether is too preposterous to be true.