How the Club got it's Goat - By Dropout

In the course of the last thirty-five years, 32 duly appointed Presidents have shaped and steered the destinies of Skerries Rugby Club. But there is one egregious figure who, over the same period of time, has given almost unbroken service in a position of eminence at Holmpatrick. He has been an impasssive witness to afternoons of great euphoria - read the full article here

The Rules of Rugby – A humble Backs view – by Kevin McDonough

My boss rang recently – he has belatedly in life (in his 50s) started going to rugby matches with his new MBA buddies and in true MBA fashion stated “when his buddies shout ‘that’s outrageous ref’ – he wants to know if it is outrageous or not”. He wanted to meet over a coffee for 20 minutes before the Leinster Vs. Saracens game – I explained that it wasn’t that simple and committed to writing a summary of the rules for him - read the full article here

A Black Weekend For Ireland – by Kevin McDonough

It’s 2009 since your humble writer put pen to paper to record the trials and tribulations of Irish Rugby and its dedicated supporters. That famous day in Cardiff is still etched on the memory and is slowly being transferred into ‘Do you remember that day….’ category. As a link back to that day two things that happened immediately afterwards (i) my 85 year old Uncle Joe (McDonough) informed me that my own Dad (Kevin Snr) had travelled on his own to Ravenhill in 1948 and managed to get into the last Grand Slam match - read the full article here

Another Day We Will Never Forget – by Kevin McDonough

Let’s start at the end this time. Like the recession, nobody saw this one coming. Some Leinster fans could at least consider we had a chance, but nobody could have predicated the manner in which Leinster out-muscled and out-manoeuvred Munster. The level of shock was palpable all round the ground as events unfolded. As Leinster fans we were humbled by the sheer intensity and effort put in by the team - read the full article here

A Day We Will Never Forget – by Kevin McDonough

6am (ish) – Wake up and first thought is how do I feel on this day of days – to be honest I am a little anxious – will I get a ticket, will Ireland do the job (I subsequently find out that George Hook also woke early and was very anxious having been confident all week!). My first (and only) mistake of the day is made, although it turns out to be a blessing - read the full article here

Anyone for rugby? - By Dropout

A significant anniversary n the world of soccer recently passed unnoticed. Fifty years ago, one of the great club sides of all time came to Dublin and, before 46,000 riveted spectators at Dalymount Park, defeated Shamrock Rovers by six goals to nil. The team of all the talents was the Manchester United team of Matt Busby, the one that, months later, was obliterated on an icy tarmac in Munich. Soccer was a symmetrically balanced game then, each side had five backs and five forwards and the latter plagued the former with as much assiduity as the former policed the latter. Teams, in other words, were tactically faithful to their stated intention of scoring goals - read the full article here

Dream On... - By Dropout

Were we picking the fifteen best or the best fifteen? If the latter, why were Louis Galbraith's credentials so shamelessly ignored? Dropout is on the point of making a significant statement so follow carefully the route taken by the pen: if Louis Galbraith had been playing for Ireland this year we would not have lost to the French in Croke Park - read the full article here

See Much Change? - By Dropout

One Friday evening in the early sixties the mother of all drinking sessions took place over in Joe Mays. Paddy Gaughran, a local short-haul seaman, had decided to throw in his lot with a vast ocean-going merchant vessel and his friends were gathered to bid him farewell. Henceforth Paddy would spend his life swanning up and down the Suez Canal or reclining in the more salubrious bars of Dar-es-salaam - read the full article here

McGuinness Rules O.K. - By Dropout

Back in those antediluvian amateur days, before the great flood of professionalism, the rugby tackle was a thing of beauty – the ball-carrier in full flow subtly spancelled by an intrepid defender and the pair of them, locked in an ad hoc embrace, coming down to earth with all the elegance of a Concorde - read the full article here

Try and try again but.... Skerries seven jocked off Benidorm flight - By Dropout

Watching Skerries play at the weekend was rather like watching one of those small screen "try of the season" competitions where a blizzard of scores is beamed at you in such quick succession that adjudication becomes virtually impossible - read the full article here

Goats have measure of Inst - By Dropout

The homecoming was high spirited without ever threatening to topple over into excess. The voice of the irrepressible Wigs went across the Pyrenees and down Transvaal before coming back via the Elephant's arse to a rousing Munster medley - read the full article here

Skerries suffocated by students - By Dropout

The inquest into this defeat by Trinity will have continued long into Saturday night in the corridors of power at Rockalyoke. All the usual suspects will have been led in for the identity parade - lack of fitness, flawed skills, myopic refereeing, poor concentration, missed penalties - but only the last two will have been detained for questioning - read the full article here

Skerries win recalls old glories - By Dropout

The regular presence of Senator Glennon behind the dead-ball line at the sea end is beginning to revitalise an area of the ground that has long lain derelict and unfrequented - such is his facility for attracting the passing electorate - read the full article here

Change of Colours Not Needed To Distinguish These Teams - By Dropout

Add another name to the roll-call of top couturiers. Dior, Lagerfield, St. Laurent are all excellent in their own way but none has achieved success of any kind on a rugby field. P. C. DENNY put a simply stunning collection of his leisurewear creations on the catwalk at Rockalyoke on Sunday afternoon - read the full article here

Goats Elude Rangers - By Dropout

Dunne runs in a style reminiscent of Paul Dean, that is to say the direction of his knees don't provide the an infallible guide to the direction of his running. Bective failed to decipher him until he was over half-way - read the full article here

Goats refuse to Capitulate, Ross, Doss and Thos - a rhyming triplet - By Dropout

One local said it was the biggest invasion of Ballina since the French disembarked at Killala and poured into the town through Bohernasup. It was marginally bigger, he said, and a lot noisier than the Pioneer Rally of 1964 when, it will be remembered, a great wave of religious ecstasy led to a banner being strung across O' Rahilly Street with the highly questionable " God bless the Holy Ghost " - read the full article here

Goats out on Pasture - By Dropout

Mention of the hooker Mulcahy makes it opportune to pay tribute to one who has worn Lord Holmpatrick's riding colours with pride for the best part of two decades now. A good half-dozen of the present side were still slobbering on their soothers - some of them may still be at it - when Mulcahy made his senior competitive debut in the Leinster League - read the full article here

Same Score - Double the Credit - By Dropout

The seal on the try-line on Saturday was genuinely hermetic - the Goats behaved like a squad of ill-disposed and over zealous bouncers who just didn't like the look of the visitors from Galway and steadfastly refused to admit them to the in-goal area - read the full article here

En Route to Thomond Park - By Dropout

Skerries began, in fact, as if this was a demonstration match. The resistance of the locals was purely token. But a ten point lead after as many minutes seemed to have the affect of a strong narcotic. Lord Holmpatrick's men culpably allowed the re-start kick to bounce and subsequent events intimated that it was at this point that the current to Skerries dynamo had been cut by a mental trip switch - read the full article here

Goats use their Heads to get Bonus Point - By Dropout

Woodlock, visibly concerned, was circling the pitch with what appeared to be a set of jump-leads but the Skerries battery remained flat for sometime after the oranges - read the full article here

Goats Take Tumble On The Piste At Pearsonstown - By Dropout

The highly motivated Goats were as likely to lose by 30 clear points as David Garry was to get a lead role with the Royal Ballet - read the full article here

The Buck is Still a Buck - By Dropout

Early indications on Saturday were that the Goats, far from suffering any psychological trauma, had in fact been revitalized by the mid-term break. The buck was still a buck and Monkstown would be the first to know it - read the full article here

Quirke's Cross-Border Stud Value Soars - By Dropout

The Skerries club president was firmly ensconced amongst the Tally-ho-Fetch-me-a-crop-Felicity fraternity on the town side of the ground and much of the talk centred on the colt wearing No. 11. He was entered in the showing class only in the first-half and the northern connoisseurs took careful note - nice configuration, well-tended mane, no obvious anomalies in the trot - read the full article here

Lift the Goats! - By Dropout

Then his emphatic break out of defense was decorated with a millimetrically precise pass to Quirke, free and in full flight on the left. A spectacular score diminished only by the puerile dance routine which ensued. Triumphalism is for Emperors, it is less becoming for rugby players - read the full article here

Old Gold, Cerise and Blue Still Fluttering - By Dropout

If this Skerries team was a Rover there would be a serious consideration for a factory recall. A number of serious flaws have shown up during its brief time on the market - sluggish drive-shaft, timing out of synch, overheating in traffic - read the full article here

St. Vitus' Dance - By Dropout

One cue, and off the ball, vulgarly healthy men collapsed as if bitten by a snake or stricken with an attack of st. Vitus' Dance. Now, snakes are not commonplace in Skerries (the reptilian variety at any rate) nor is St. Vitus' Dance one of the major maladies in Limerickmen, but the referee didn't seem to notice the anomaly - read the full article here

Exposure to the elements is no novelty for Connemara men - By Dropout

More than once O'Sullivan demonstrated his entrepreneurial skills and around the country there is talk of forming a support-group for the growing number of victims of his side-step - read the full article here

Patsy doesn't do tackles - By Dropout

When, fifteen minutes into the second half on Saturday, Beggs, not for the first time in the match, stood facing the opposition ball-carrier before deciding to wave him through, the Skerries side-line support was decidedly disgruntled. Only one voice retained its composure. The slow Fingal monotone explained that "Patsy doesn't do tackles" - read the full article here

Shades of Willie Duggan - By Dropout

O'Shea pere, Head of Mythology in the Archive Section at Holmpatrick, had led a fact finding mission to Banbridge some weeks ago and on his return, with typical terseness he produced a 65-page strategy document - read the full article here

Let's get the hell out of here... - By Dropout

For connoisseurs of the ancient art of jousting there was a match within a match, a side show which at times threatened to upstage the main event. O’Connor, the caprine prop and McGrath the Clonakilty tight-head spent so much time exchanging yellow cards and escorting each other to the touch line that they might have been long lost brothers in prolonged embrace - read the full article here

A Wanderers warm-up that would have done justice to a Foreign Legion Selection Test - By Dropout

In this season’s Skerries match programme Mickey Machiavelli, Wanderers version of the Eternal Flame, reminisces on taking a star-studded fifteen to play a League match at Holmpatrick a quarter of a century ago, only to be devoured by a near-feral local pack backed by the cultured boot of Celsus Toye. Any residual resentment from that occasion is likely to have been dissipated by Saturday’s events - read the full article here

Lord Holmpatrick’s riding colours at half-mast - By Dropout

A hesitant tackle against a bouyant runner has roughly the same value as an iodine tablet against a nuclear accident. Before the end the visitors line had been breached four more times and the debit balance was touching the half-century - read the full article here

Gaudeamus igitur! - By Dropout

The heavy artillery O’Connor, Grimes and Rooney all showed their ability as runner/carriers although PG might care to review his dietary arrangements on match day. A cursory examination of the deposit he left on the Shenick touchline midway through the second half indicated that he may have had one sausage too many in his late breakfast - read the full article here

The exquisite landscapes of Mayo - By Dropout

Excessive fever close to the line deprived Skerries on a few occasions and when the equaliser did come it was in the shape of a trade-mark tour de force from the No. 11. Keane's barber leaves his head looking a bit like a set-aside area and Keane, in turn, does the same to opposition defences. Taking a ball in the midfield from his homonym at out-half he swatted left and right and was still festooned with defenders as he slid into the promised land - read the full article here

Anyone can lead a pack! - By Dropout

Ten minutes into the second moiety the Goats had the lead. This time the line-out was driven across the border to the promised land and the redoubtable Dowling took the score. To protect for half an hour a lead of anorexic proportion requires well-defined qualities of will and resolution - read the full article here

Cataclysmic Reverses - By Dropout

When, approaching the end of the first quarter, the home winger accurately deciphered Caraher's intentions and took the intercept he had an unmonitored prairie in front of him. Caraher could only assume the stricken look of a parachutist whose rip-cord had failed - read the full article here

Objectivity is an elusive ideal at the best of times - By Dropout

The Celtic League Final drew its percentage of lukewarm supporters to the bar. But one man whose fidelity is undivided is the redoubtable Turlough. Long after the sun had gone down and night had fallen his strident exhortations were still echoing over Rockalyoke - read the full article here

Where did it all go right? - By Dropout

The Rugby Committee went into emergency session shortly after the final whistle at Holmpatrick on Saturday. Events on the field were parsed and analysed and then reparsed. The general consensus was that an answer would have to be found to the serious conundrum posed by the Goats’ performance that afternoon. Debate raged on and it was well into the Sabbath before defeat was finally conceded. No-one, it seemed, could adequately resolve the question at issue: “Where did it all go right?” - read the full article here

The best of both worlds - By Dropout

Keane, in a previous incarnation, was without doubt one of those Roman chariots, the ones with the big blades rotating on the wheels which dismember anyone straying onto their route and he left the usual trail of victims in his wake as he powered his way inexorably to the corner - read the full article here

The fungoid growth of corporate entertainment - By Dropout

Sheeran, the Kiwi at out-half, is not a big fellow but he was putting every milligram of his frame on the line to halt the trundling mastadonts on the other side. His head suffered and when he returned from time-out for a blood-staunch the extravagant bandaging gave him the look of a Hindu philosopher - read the full article here

One more question: Is Giles a fit person to take a training session? - By Dropout

Is Giles a fit person to take a training session? The precise instructions on how to get to Dublin Airport by road led to one of our visitors running aground at Rush Harbour on Friday evening - read the full article here

Intermediate Primes - By Dropout

Everyday contains these brief moments between light and dark which the poets refer to as the gloaming. For the romantics it is a hallowed time. For the car-drivers it is a hazardous time. For the myopic rugby player it is time to boycott the ball - read the full article here

Fortitude of the Goats wins the day - By Dropout

A pale winter sun filtering through the window of the King’s licensed premises picked out the presidential paunch as the pre-match post-prandial speech began. And in that throaty voice that adds an extra dollop of sincerity to all his declarations Roscoe informed his hosts that “we love it down here”. A few hours later he was loving it even more - read the full article here

Caudine Forks - By Dropout

The zany O’Sullivan (David) showed that he is still a transcendent rugby talent by easing into a defensive fissure and pulling away from the pursuit before eliminating the full-back with the daintiest of soft-shoe shuffles - read the full article here

A Virtual Beggs - By Dropout

The game began with a coup de theatre – the apparent slaying of the hero, the Skerries open side flanker. When the visiting No. 8 appropriated the kick-off and powered forward O’Sullivan the elder, first into contact, was left scattered on the deck. But immortality is a useful asset in this kind of drama and a brief trip to the service area was enough to restore the No. 7 - read the full article here

Wiping out years of history - By Dropout

The old gold cerise and blue, fielding a makeshift side, had just succumbed ingloriously to a local fifteen which was preparing its debut season in senior rugby. “That eighty minutes” he said gravely “has wiped out years of history” - read the full article here

The normally tranquil world of the Aspirants - By Dropout

Before the end an audacious dummy by the visiting out-half induced sudden onset paralysis in the home rearguard. The score at the posts marked the terminus for Skerries on this particular Via Doloroso - read the full article here